Focus Initiative

I've never been a big believer in positive self talk philosophies because I've believed them to be disguised American narcissism. That was till I met parents whose low expectations and constant excusing of their childrens so called inabilities had created dependent, incapable adults.  I want to put my hand on the shoulders of these child-like dependent adults and tell them, "Go somewhere where they will make you work hard and not let you out of whatever activity makes you frustrated.  You are a very, very capable person." I also want to send the parents statements to repeat to themselves every morning that go something like, "Because my child had to work hard to acquire 'simple skills' doesn't make them a failure.  It makes them hard workers.  Though my child will have to endure frustrating, hard work in the future to acquire more skills, this is the only way they can become successful, independent adults." 

The principle is simple. Reinforce whatever ever behavior you want repeated. If you want a quitter, allow the child to quit.  If you want tantrums, give the child what he wants when he tantrums. If you want to be manipulated, yield to manipulative attempts. 

I speak from observation rather than personal experience, but I can think of ten to twenty couples who are raising their kids the hard way and will probably request of me to say everything I've said more forcefully.         

To all parents who are tempted to let their student take the easy way out of a task or project because the student is insisting "I'm incapable of doing this":  Your child is capable of more than you know. 

-Richard Kelly